It's more than just a life skill. Connect, impress, and stand out to the people around you - as you, and not fake you.
Ever set a bunch of goals for yourself, and then struggled to see them through?
There's this important principle in economics known as the pareto principle: that 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes.
It's been observed in science, media, business, health and the arts, just to name a few.
For us, it basically means that:
- Focusing on building your skills will take you a lot further than trying to control your outcomes. You can't predict the weather - but you can buy an umbrella.
- If you were to choose five areas of growth, and focus on putting your "10,000 hours" into one of them, you would get 4x the results of trying to boost all of them at the same time.
- It's not just practice makes perfect - working hard isn't enough. You have to work, learn, and think smart.
Why personal impact makes all the difference
You've heard charisma, social skills, personability.
I call it personal impact - your ability to impact the world around you.
Because it's not about fakeness, or manipulating people, or smiling right.
It's not about power poses and formulas and pick-up lines.
It's about becoming.
Becoming your most confident, most attractive, most influential self.
Becoming the person who can walk into a room and turn heads, captivate a dinner table, give someone a reason to laugh or to smile or to hang on to your every word.
And it starts with the deepest, most powerful truth of who you are. With what makes you unique.
The truly impactful person has a superpower - the ability to adapt to and shape their social world.
But they also have another, less appreciated ability - the ability to step out of their story, and be a supporting character in someone else's.
We're so unused to others who genuinely care about us, to people who actually want to listen and aren’t just waiting for their turn to speak, that we need classes on "active listening" because it's too hard to listen when we're thinking about what to say next.
We spend so much time wrapped up in our own lives, worried what others will think of us, worried if we said the right thing, scared we’re giving the wrong impression -
We forget what we really want. What’s truly important.
To really connect - without coming off as fake or overeager or overbearing. But to do that, we have to care. Because behind every great story, idea, brand is a person - with their own quirks and pains and loves. Recognizing that is an important first step.
You are the protagonist of an epic the likes of which the world has never seen, and will never see again. The epic of you. And somewhere, our stories intersect. Somewhere, your story intersects with each of the people in your life, or who one day will be.
What I do is help you get to where that place is at its best. To where you can connect, impress, and stand out to anyone, as you and not fake you. Because your potential > your comfort zone.
For me it's not a hobby, it's a passion. Here's why:
Why I care
Good relationships don't just make us happier - they make us existentially wealthier, healthier, and more likely to run into amazing opportunities...
I read. A lot. But one field I've been nerding out about for years is the science of relationships, socializing, body language and charisma.
People are what I'm passionate about. Who I'm passionate about. For some, passion means learning how to code and building million-dollar apps, spending a year honing yoga skills to be able to teach it, transforming their bodies through training and helping others do the same. For me, it means learning about the science of "social life", living intentionally, chatting up strangers, and experimenting with ways of impacting our social world. This passion's led me to…
- Build a Zotero database with about 4 1/2 years of research on social psychology, charisma, and body language
- Spend hours watching interviews with some of the most (and least) well-known charismatic people
- Invest a year talking to strangers across 6 different countries
- Develop, test, and build social techniques that are delivering people life-changing results
- Find myself on-set of one of my favorite Netflix originals
- Start this business
For me, the difference it makes has meant better friendships, deeper relationships, and more memories than I can count.
So last year, I tested a theory.
I made it a goal to have one real conversation with at least one stranger, every day for 100 days. I'm working on a post about it, and it should be out soon. One of the biggest takeaways - something that was nearly universal across the people I shared time with, was that our relationships are more important than we think.
For our careers, for our health, but more importantly, for our lives. Our connections, friends, gossip, crushes, loves, family - this is what's on our minds. And these are the same relationships which are central to our dreams - our dreams for our careers, our creative projects, and our selves.
Personal impact makes all the difference - and I want you to feel that difference too. Because here's something else I've noticed:
Having an "I" for "Introverted" at the beginning of your Myers Briggs doesn't kill your chances. It just means you need a completely different approach from what most people are telling you to do.
Having an "E" for "Extroverted" doesn't mean you're set - it means developing real connections is even more important to your personal success.
Working with me will push you a little. Because I believe your potential > your comfort zone.
You likely have moments you shine and moments you don't. Maybe it comes through when you're relaxed and allowed to be funny. Maybe it's when you're listening to a friend share what they're struggling with, with you. Maybe it works on stage but not in person, or vice versa.
Whatever it is, you probably gravitate towards one of 8 unique ways to convey yourself at your best. I'll help you find where that is, and make it work for you.
This is where you become your most attractive, most confident, and most magnetic. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, we bring out the best of who you are at you are at your core, the most authentic side of you, and develop your ability to let that side be known through what you say, how you say it, your body language, confidence and demeanor.
Some things I do differently:
1) Online sessions - so we can work together from anywhere in the world within time-difference constraints.
2) Make myself available for you on Facebook Messenger and Google Hangouts Chat - so we can communicate outside our regular sessions.
3) Personalized to you and what you need - show me who you are and where you are, and I'll help you get where you could be.
How it works
We spend about 90 minutes a week together via video/phone call. Our first session we just get to know each other, and then we work through identifying your unique style(s) of charisma, and building it to its full potential.
This means everything from true confidence, to body language, to being great at conversation.
It means taking where you're strong and what is natural and infusing them with the power you need to be your most magnetic. Strengthening what you aren't good at until you are good at it.
But the important thing is: it's all personalized to your specific situation, needs and goals.
So all said, I'd rather show you, and not just tell you, how much this can impact your life.
Which is why I don't accept any payment until you've had a free session with me. So if you think you might be interested, get started by clicking the button below.